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| Alex Gilbert. Image courtesy of Alex Gilbert | imadopted.org |
Sasha Alexander 'Alex' Gilbert, whose birth name was Gusovskoi Alexander Viktorovich, was born in Arkhangelsk, Russia and placed in a local orphanage. In 1994, at age two he was adopted by his New Zealand parents.
In 2013, Alex did a search for his birth parents using social media. He eventually found them and met his birth mother and father for the first time at the end of 2013. Since then Alex has formed I'm Adopted, an organisation that helps adoptees find their biological families, and connect with other adoptees for support and advice.
Alex has written two books My Russian Side (2014) and I'm Adopted (2018). He also produces a weekly podcast I'm Adopted: The Podcast.
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| Alex Gilbert signing his book I'm Adopted at Rotorua Library, 10 August 2019. Photo: Ani Sharland. |
Rotorua Library Heritage and Research Specialist Graeme Cash spoke with Alex Gilbert about his search for his birth parents, publishing his story and forming I'm Adopted.
What led you to search for your birth parents?
I have always wanted to know about my birth parents in Russia. Growing up I have always had an interest in where I came from. My parents were always open and honest about it too with both my brother and I. It was never something that was a secret in our family. I am grateful for that. I wanted to do a search for them when I was 21. I felt like this would be a good time to do a search myself. I thought about doing a search back in High School which I did try, but I had no luck. The timing when I was 21 seemed to have worked perfectly with me.
How did you make contact with your birth parents?
At the start of 2013 I did some research on Russian social network websites, which I didn't really know about. After I pulled out my adoption documents, I was able to try and do a search. I managed to find information on my birth mother first. I found a contact of hers through a community group who had the same last name as hers. My birth mother herself doesn't use social media, but people who know her did and so I managed to get in touch with them. With my birth father I wasn't able to find information on him. I learnt later that he didn't know about me and the name on my adoption papers was not real. He only knew about me when I sent him a message for the first time when I did a search in 2013.
Can you talk about the use of social media and the Web as tools for one finding their birth parents?
For social media it is very useful. It's helpful with this day and age as there are contacts out there that might know someone. It is different for everyone of course, every story is different. With I'm Adopted its helpful because it's mostly run through social media. People that might want to do a search can reach out to the community or if they want to talk to other adoptees, they can also reach out. It's important for that. Social media and the internet plays a huge role.
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| Alex (far right) with his parents Mark and Janice Gilbert and brother Andrei (also adopted). Image courtesy of Alex Gilbert | imadopted.org |
Can you describe the experience of meeting your birth parents for the first time?
I was extremely nervous. I got in touch with my birth parents at the start of 2013 to then going to Russia at the end of 2013. The year had a lot of planning involved and for me, I had never been back to Russia and so I didn't know what to expect. Meeting them for the first time was an incredible experience. I got to Moscow first, then driving to see my birth mother the next day. It all still feels like yesterday. We were both nervous about the entire meeting. Even though it was a lot of planning, it all went very fast. It was a life changing experience. Meeting my birth father was again another surreal experience. It was a special moment for me. He was soon meeting this son of his that he never knew existed. It changed his life and mine, not to forget his entire family.
How do you maintain contact and develop a relationship with your birth parents from New Zealand?
I don't keep in touch with my birth mother as much as I would like to, but I keep in contact all the time with my birth father. We use social media, phone call and skyping to keep in touch. It's incredible how much technology has improved over the last few years with communication. It has made things a lot faster in the way of reaching out to my birth family in Russia. I have also been learning the language as well as having friends who translate for me too which is useful.
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| Alex and his parents Janice and Mark Gilbert with his birth mother Tatiana and birth father Mihail. Image courtesy of Alex Gilbert | imadopted.org |
What inspired you to publish your story?
I had so much I wanted to write about from my story. A lot was all like a timeline in my head that I really wanted to put into a book. I wanted to write this book so that it can help others adopted or even parents who have adopted children themselves. Of course it talks about my own personal life and ups and downs that everyone gets from time to time. The book is me and its about my story of my adoption and how it really changed my life with meeting my birth parents to now creating I'm Adopted.
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| I'm Adopted (2018, Alex Gilbert) |
Can you explain what the I'm Adopted project is and how it began?
In mid 2015 I wanted to create an online project that helps adopted people reach out to each other. Open a community online using social media so that we can all talk to each other with. It's all for anyone around the world who is adopted, inside their country or overseas, it's for all of us. I knew that if this project was around when I did my own search in 2013, I may have been able to prepare a little bit more before going to Russia. I didn't have a community like I'm Adopted around to reach out to. It's a support network and along with a beautiful community. People can share their stories or join private groups and reach out there. I also run a podcast weekly for the project that is published every Wednesday. It's overall an awesome project.
What have some of the challenges with running the project?
Where do I begin. I guess keeping it running is a big one. Keeping it going strong while I do have a full time job, I want to always keep helping with I'm Adopted. I enjoy doing what I do wit it but of course it's all my free time that I spend with it. But every moment is helping is important. I think it's most likely when I get the odd anonymous Facebook message from someone who is asking for my help but there is no information. I share the stories for people if they would like that or people can reach out to the group. Sometimes I also reach out to some of the contacts overseas who might be able to help specific people too. But it's a completely rewarding project and I would never change anything I have done with it. I am proud of what it has become.
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| Alex at first birthday celebration for I'm Adopted. Image courtesy of Alex Gilbert | imadopted.org |
What has been the most rewarding moment for you?
The most rewarding moment is definitely when people reach out to me simply saying thank you. Or thank you to me for doing what I do. People who watch my YouTube channel reach out to me often, just thanking me. People have said that they have been able to find information with the help of I'm Adopted. I have a few adoption resources online that I have written that can help people with any searches that they might want to do. I have to keep the website and Facebook page running all the time, so I am always doing what I can with it. Overall I'm Adopted is a rewarding project.
Earlier this year you published a Russian version of your book I'm Adopted, can you tell me about that experience?
Back in 2017 I got to go to Russia to meet with an organisation in Moscow who help parents who have adopted children inside Russia. I know one of the organisations very well who actually let me to stay with their family in Moscow while I was there. I also revisited my orphanage for the first time at the end of 2018 (second time was at the end of 2018 for the gifts) too along with meeting the Children's Rights Minister in Moscow, who works with their President. I can say, it was a really productive visit to Russia. The organisation reached out to me who help parents and adopted teenagers when I got back from Russia. They asked if they could translate and publish my book inside Russia. It was more of a free giveaway for charities and organisations inside Russia, but overall, it was fully funded and printed. It was incredible. Took well over a year to plan, but seeing the finished translated version was something. I sent a signed thank you note to my birth mother with the book for them too.
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| Alex meeting Anna Kuznetsova, Children's Rights Commissioner for the President of the Russian Federation. Image courtesy of Alex Gilbert | imadopted.org |
This year you have launched a podcast and currently have a TV show Reunited in development can you tell me about those projects.
I have always had an interest in podcasting and how that all works and so I wanted to create a Podcast for I'm Adopted. It's because with Spotify and music streaming services, it is a lot easier to create a podcast these days. I couldn't believe how easy it actually was. Of course I need to create the content, but I love what I do with this and so that was the least of my worries. It's called I'm Adopted: The Podcast. I interview adoptees and just talk about specific topics each week. It's an important podcast to listen to and what's great about Podcasts is, if you want to playback an old episode, you can at anytime!
What advice would you give to someone beginning their search for their birth parents?
Don't give up. Be patient and always prepared for anything. Be honest with your close friends and family and do it when you feel it's right in your heart. That is the advice I always give to those who want to search.
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| Alex speaking at Rotorua Library, 10 August 2019. Photo credit: Ani Sharland. |
Alex Gilbert spoke at the library on Saturday 10th August 2019 as part of August Family History Month. A copy of his book I'm Adopted (now signed) can be found at 362.734 GIL NZ.
To learn more about Alex and I'm Adopted visit:
imadopted.org
facebook.com/imadoptedOrg
alexgilbert.co.nz
facebook.com/nzalexgilbert
